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We seem to have little trouble in admitting we are sinners. We do it together most weeks in worship. There may even be a bit of comfort in doing so together as we can look around and know we are not alone in our status as a sinner.

What if instead we had to confess our sins; that is the acts and inactions we committed in the past week. Those deeds and things left undone of which we are aware; how would we feel about putting those out there? Would we feel an act of solidarity with our fellow sinners who are doing the same? Or would we keep score to see who among us was the worst sinner. (No worries, we will not be starting this practice any time soon.)

While being able to readily admit our sinfulness, we are not big on admitting the sins. Not even to ourselves. Just as a for instance, saying “I am a sinner” may flow easily from our lips but saying, “I am a racist” seems unable to come out, much less flow out with the same ease as confessing sinfulness.

And, oh yes, we are sinners. And, oh yes, we are racists. And, one final “oh yes”: “Oh yes, this very definitely includes me. Even though I have publicly admitted this before, this still struggles to be said in any out loud way through speech or writing. I/we cannot be part of our system of living as middle class white Americans without participating in a system that in many was depends upon racism.

This sounds absolutely horrifying and terrible, doesn’t it? Yes, it does because yes, it is. My point here, however, is almost less racism and more sin. As we glibly acknowledge our sinfulness, we far too often fail to understand how horrifying and terrible is sin and sinfulness. We seem to understand “I am a sinner” as synonymous with “I am not perfect.” Sinfulness is a far more serious and deeper issue than imperfection. Adding 2 + 2 and getting 5 is a mistake. Treating others unjustly and living in our protected narcissistic bubbles is horrendous. Ask any who have suffered from our sins.

We confess our sinfulness because we need constant reminder of who we are beneath our well-groomed surface. We have a need to confess our sins if we have any hope to overcome them or grow. Sometimes these do need to be said out loud to someone.

We have great hope in the God of Jesus Christ for forgiveness of our sinfulness. If God can forgive this very basic condition of ours, we need to trust that God can forgive those individual sins, those deep sins that cause hurt to others. Do we trust God enough, do we trust God’s grace enough to be able to admit not only our sinfulness, but our very sins? Putting them out there can be as much for ourselves as it can be for God or even some other. We cannot hope to overcome that which we refuse to acknowledge.

Admitting not only who we are but what we have done, what we do, is the first step to recovery; that is, the first step to dealing with and overcoming our sin. Sin is profoundly injurious to the sinned against, and at times the sinner. Grave and great that sin is, even greater is God’s grace and forgiveness.

There is a reason delivery trucks and construction equipment beep when going backward. Going backward is dangerous. One can be deluded into thinking they see everything that is back there. Sometimes our best view as we go back is through mirrors, not our own set of eyes.

Having said this, there is something in our humanity that too often wants to go back when faced with confusion, new ways that threaten old understandings, and when we are going through a difficult time. There is something in us that seems to think going back to a former, older, safer burrow is better when something about our current situation seems to make us feel we are under assault. And though we think we see the past clearly, that is not always so.

Sometimes when I return to my native Pennsylvania, I chuckle at some of the road routes. Many were built long ago on Native American trails on or over mountains which were in turn made previously as game trails. Over the centuries with new construction equipment more and faster cars, some of the roads have been straightened and curves widened. I wonder what we are constructing now in the West that generations much later will wonder with amusement why we did it this way? Where are we operating now in a way that pulls us back?

There is a place for good ol’ human conservatism. I remember working with an architect on a church project who said his goal in every building he designs is to create something that future generations will wish to restore, not remodel. There is much back there that is good. There is much in the past that may have served the past, but would serve us poorly now. Anyone want to return to manual shift cars? Fans instead of air conditioning?

Not all that is new is good or better. Even those things that are positive changes frequently come with a cost as something important had to be abandoned to allow the new to come and flourish.

Genesis tells us God created. Science tells us creation is evolving. I even remember a dentist in my congregation tell me he and other dentists are beginning to see evolutionary signs of wisdom teeth evolving out of humans. This is all to say if creation is not static, why would we assume life is or ought to be? The issue is not change; it is what change? Which changes are good, which are not? Which need to be fine-tuned to be good?

Think of the life and life-style in the Bible, a book covering a period of perhaps a couple thousand years with its stories. What is the same as today? Not much. Not much that is, except the stories were of humans and what has changed least is our humanity. We are taller now and live longer. No one really will miss wisdom teeth. Yet the essence of humanity with its fears, longings, love, thinking, innovating and much more remain essentially the same. We laugh, we hurt, we have drives and passions, and we maintain our survival instinct.

We must however not treat the past with rose colored lenses as some ideal time and place. An ideal time and place has not occurred since the Garden of Eden. I have heard older pastors say, “Many think of the ‘50’s” as a golden time for the church. Those of us serving then never saw gold. Maybe an occasional yellow tint, but never gold.”

This is where history comes in. It comes best when the failures and evils of the past are put out there as well as the good and successes. If we learn only the “good” parts, how can we learn to recognize and identify what is wrong in our own time? How can we live in hope if we think the good seemed to be only in the past? How frustrated would we be to think we have messed up like no one ever has.

Be warry of those who want to lead us to some imagined time and place of the past. I heard someone recently say how much better it was when they were a child many decades ago. Better for who? Whites? People of color? Middle class or wealthy? Laborers or management? Always remember to go back we have to put the vehicle in reverse…reverse which means the opposite direction. What people, what culture have ever flourished by going backward? We are better served filtering out the good ideas from the not very good ideas of those who call us forward to something new. There is a reason trucks and construction vehicles beep out a warning when going backward. Maybe we can install this system in our humanity.